Green and (Mostly) Pristine

England is a fairly green place and empty place. I know this for two reasons: I used live in green and empty parts of it and, as mentioned previously, I have flown over parts of it and concluded it’s not actually a wasteland teeming with dirty immigrants. OK. I must confess I’ve never spent any … Continue reading

The Wonderful Internet

Edit: Sorry, links weren’t working. They are now. I love the internet. The internet is a wealth of hilarity. Such as the picture that brought you to this nugget of wisdom. I am suffering from a mild form of writers block. So I decided to trawl the internet for something to inspire me. I randomly … Continue reading

Is There A Disney on Alderaan?

“It feels like I’ve finally escaped from George Lucas’ basement, after 15 years of abuse, I get out into the garden, over the fence, knock on next door and to find Mickey Mouse with a massive erection just laughing at me.”                                                        … Continue reading

Fuck John Galt

To begin, I will quote Paul Krugman, because if you’re going to start an inevitable argument, you might as well start with a Nobel Prize winner: “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a … Continue reading

The Beautiful Game

I like a bit of football, me. Proper football. You know. The Beautiful Game… I don’t get it watch it all that often these days, but I do when I can. National and international. I care more about my beloved Lilywhites than I do about England, but that’s not what we are going to talk … Continue reading

Buy Now, Smile Later

I was in a shopping centre/mall recently. A big one. An expensive one. A very strangely unhappy one. It had sweet scent of leather and cold hard cash. And this was interesting for me. Now, I would like to stress first off that this is not an anti-capitalist rant, or anything like that. Maybe a … Continue reading

YES

Fucking yes. http://hackneyhipsterhate.tumblr.com/post/791630426/claptonhousepartycunts That is all.

Um. No.

Stumbleupon brought me across this heap of shit: Surely if there was that much ‘chemistry’ you’d fucking know about it. Unless you had paralysis localised solely in your cock-and-bollock region. I suggest a Stalinist internet purge.

More Kindred Spirits?

Now, you will know by now that we fucking hate hipsters. Any accidental hipsters must go through a thorough screening process before they talk to us. They must be cleansed. Real bone fide hipsters must go through a firey building wearing nothing but a moustache, riding a fixed-gear bike we doused in petrol only minutes … Continue reading

Get Down From That Horse

Ever heard of a place called Xinjiang? It’s kind of a large place. Pretty big, pretty empty too. Ok, what about Tibet? Now, I know you’ve heard of that. Big place, pretty empty. Actually, what about Uyghurs? Have you heard of them? Nope. Hmm. Interesting. So Xinjiang and Tibet have a few things in common … Continue reading