Over and Over and Over and Over

For fuck’s sake, if I hear Adele one more fucking time, I swear I’m going to put the head of the next person I see through a window. Unless I like them. And all this will be on Adele’s head.

This one, I suppose is the fault of commercial radio. As Number Two pointed out in his last article, I’m pretty in to my music. Therefore finding a decent radio station is quite a task for me. Even the ‘rock’ stations are pretty crap for an enlightened guy like me. So listening to your bog standard radio station is pretty much my idea of hell. As for this ‘chart’ stuff, think of a baby covered in baby food and excrement sat at the keyboard of an old computer, pressing a button over and over again until the computer freezes and keeps making the same error noise over and over and over and over and over and bomfa-bomfa-bomfa-POTSANDPANS-bomfa-bomfa-bomfa-Landan-slang-gangstagangstagangsta. Yeah, that’s what it sounds like to me.

Anyway, Adele. Bitch. Depressing 40-a-day smoker voice. And it’s always the same fucking song. At the beginning I remember thinking ‘well, it’s not for me, but I can understand how someone might like this kind of thing’ but now every time I hear it (3 times a day if I’m captive near someone else’s radio) I think daggers, poison and death. I now hate her for life.

You haunt my dreams.

But really, it’s the fault of the record companies and the radio stations. There’s obviously some kind of smoky board room shenanigans going on here, and it’s turning my brain in to the biggest landfill site ever created.

Maybe there’s a deeper, ulterior motive going on here. Maybe it’s a government sponsored project to create a band of super-vigilantes who kill on site when someone plays a certain key and pitch. Adele has to be in on it. Surely if she wasn’t she’d be complaining as much as me? Ok, well maybe not that much, but close, surely! This is her artistic integrity we’re talking about here!

Although of course the song is just a three-chord wonder*. It only sounds so flowery because she decided to play the individual notes. But it’s still only three chords. If people take the piss out of Status Quo for that, let’s take a look at most shitty pop music out there. Three. Fucking. Chords, people. It’s not rocket science.

So – shitty pop is working in cahoots with the government. Who they want us to kill, I do not yet know. I just hope I have enough time to figure it out. This may save us. This may save all of us. If only I knew. If only I had more time. Just to figure out when to put the ear plugs in. But this has gone live now. They are watching me. She is listening. She is warming up her vocal cords ready to disassemble my ears and deactivate my brain.

Oh shit. She’s here. She’s found me. If I don’t speak to you again, remember this: Everything you d…….

*Term used loosely

2 Responses to “Over and Over and Over and Over”
  1. archaeobliss says:

    Blissfully unfamiliar with any of this slapper’s tunes, so not sure what title to google to see if I agree with you. I will leave it as read that you must be right :p

    Except for the line ‘pretty in to my music’ which I am sure is meant to read ‘into my music’.

  2. Angry Man Number One says:

    Do a youtube search for Adele. *That* song will come up. Probably about a million times.

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