Kill Me Now

So finally we are getting back into the swing of things. Things have been hectic recently. I would like to say we’ve recently returned from extensive adventures of dragon slaying and maiden saving. But alas, that would be stretching the realms of credibility ā€“ dragon slaying season is obviously later in the year.

Anyhow. Have you ever been stuck in a place you can’t get out of? A place so uninspiring that you want to slam your head against a wall in the vain hope that you’ll have a more interesting time in your concussion than you could possibly have in reality? Now imagine that there is someone with you chewing your ear off and they have a complete inability to notice how bored you are. Seriously. How do they not notice?

Do you think they’ll notice?

I really don’t understand it. How do some people go through their lives not noticing that they are reducing people to tears and thoughts of murder inside their heads. I have sat through, honest to god, 30 minute ‘conversations’ where I have said almost nothing other than ‘yeah’, ‘uh huh’, ‘oh, really’, and ‘wow, that’s fucked up’. I found myself saying to people “I was talking to so and so and… actually… I was listening to so and so…” .

Now maybe its my own fault for not using more useful interjections to try and at least move the conversation on to something that might not be about some weird medical problem that they have with their bowels, or some other twisted stupid bullshit you don’t care in the slightest about. But at the same time, surely people should be able to realise that no one wants to hear that shit. Like really. It can’t be that hard to notice the person your have caught in your bore ray is slowly reaching for sharp objects to end their life. Or possibly yours.

Apparently there is a quote that runs along the lines of ‘Only boring people get bored‘. That is a load of nonsense. I have heard this quote in a couple of circumstances, mostly by people justifying the inane crap that comes out of their mouths. If I’m bored as a result of hearing you talk it is your fault not mine. It’s my problem, granted, but that’s not really the point. There isn’t really a trick to being interesting – at least I don’t think there is – but there certainly is a knack for being about to tell when someone isn’t really paying attention to you. Or even just the simple fact that they aren’t actually engaging you in any meaningful way. These people talk about things you couldn’t possibly be interested in. And they do it in so much detail that sometimes you think they may just being taking the piss to see how long it takes you to snap. And let’s face it… it’s rude to tell someone to shut the fuck up in most circumstances, so we are cursed to grin and bare it. I have resorted to sarcastic comments, sometimes that leads to slightly uncomfortable situations. But sometimes even that doesn’t save me. If you turn around and think ‘well that doesn’t happen to me, I never get bored’, I’m afraid I have unfortunate news for you: you are the boring person.

So here’s a friendly word of warning:

I.e: Shut the fuck up.

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